Self-Esteem

Where did that voice go that is supposed to say “I think I can I think I can?”

 

We all have weaknesses and we all have strengths.  Intellectually, this can be fairly easy to conceptualize; and yet, embodying an acceptance of oneself as flawed and worthy can feel like a pipedream for anyone with a strong self critic. 

 

If self esteem is something with which you struggle, it can feel impossible to hear accolades.  The more people may try to help by pointing out good qualities, the more you may fight against it.  For some reason, the voice inside of you yells your flaws and glosses over your worth.  Whether this is something that has developed more recently or something that goes back as far as you can remember, it has a profound affect on your ability to relate in the world the way you wish you could. 

 

The inner critic often develops as a defense mechanism.  It is often scared of how others will treat you in this world and so tries to protect against that.  It may say: if you just tried harder, if you said things right, if you talked louder or quieter, if you were just somehow different, then no one would be able to point out your flaws and you would finally be safe.  In an attempt to shield you, the inner critic has a way jumping in the criticism fast lane without knowing how to get out.

 

Something in the system has broken down, and the voice that was meant to protect you has become harsh and unyielding, while the voice that was meant to nurture you has become silent or close to silent. 

 

Exploring where things broke down, what are unrealistic versus realistic expectations, and what has gotten in the way, acts as a starting point.  Within a safe, caring, and nurturing environment we may then explore places where you can identify and feel positive about your strengths.  We may work to put distance between your true intelligent understanding of yourself and the nagging voices that limit you. Through our time together we will work to develop healthy grandiosity, bolster nourishing relationships, and build internal modes of compassion so that you can relate to the world in the way that you deserve.